Saturday, December 31, 2005

live life to the fullest



Friday, 30 Dec 05

Tak cukup tidur tp pepagi buta lagi adik lelaki aku yg no.3 dah buat aksi WWF semata-mata nak paksa aku bangun dari katil..*yawn*.. ngantuk toksah citer arr.. ditambah plak dgn mood aku yg tak berapa baik dari mlm td..*malas nak ingat*.. Kalau tak fikirkan tentang misi aku utk hari ni, kompem sampai tengahari aku melingkar atas katil lagi.

Oh ye lupa plak nk explain ttg misi aku nih. Ekceli, aku diarahkan oleh boss (nenek aku la), utk membuat 1000 pcs muffin utk diberikan pada tetamu yg dtg kenduri nanti. Yelah, zaman skrg manader guna telur lagi. Kut ader pun, bunga telur tu juz perhiasan kat pelamin je. So, pagi nih bermula lah proses menyiapkan muffin seperti yg diarahkan. Memula tu, ramai jugak yg menolong aku kat dapur. Tapi bila dah tengahari, sorang demi sorang hilang.. last-last, tinggal aku sorang..*bengang*.. Ikutkan tader lah susah mana nak buat muffin tu. Juz adun marjerin, gula, telur pastu campur dgn tepung yg dah diayak dgn baking powder & bubuh coklat cip.. then bakar dlm oven – settle. Tapi, bila dah kena buat sengsorang sampai ke petang, pancit lah macik. Part yg sadis sekali, bila mission accomplished, nenek & mak sedara aku boleh tanya.. “eh, Along berdiri lelama ni, kaki kaki tak sakit ke?”.. *isk*.. baru sedar ke? Nih yg rasa nak merajuk nih. Tapi tader lah, tak sakit pun. Iron lady kan..*perasan*.. (nnt aku letak resipi muffin & pics kat fotopages ek)

Hm, bercakap ttg kaki aku nih, arituh, masa nak balik Melaka, bapak punyerlah mengamuk. Puncanya? First, sebab aku lewat bagi tau dia pasal insiden nih. Second, sbb bapak salah faham - dia ingat kaki aku patah. Third, dia bengang sbb aku ambil mudah perkara nih (coz aku tak suka balut kaki aku - rimas) Rerupanya, bapak takut aku jadi mcm cousin lelaki aku yg kena kanser tulang sbb tak rawat kaki dia dgn betul (hish, apa lah bapak nih - mintak dijauhkan!)

Anyways, lepas settle kan everything bout muffin, aku pi tolong mak sedara aku hias dulang hantaran utk pengantin & souvenirs utk org yg dtg marhaban utk majlis bercukur nanti. Masa tengah khusyuk peratikan hasil seni gubahan depa, baru aku perasan kat dalam bilik tu juz ada orang tetua je. Hati dah tak sedap duduk situ lelama. Baru aku nak melangkah keluar, pakcik aku block jalan la pulak..

Makcik: “eh mak (referred to nenek aku lah), ada dua jenis alas dulang nih. Kaler peach nih siapa punya?”

Nenek: “alah, mak sajer beli dua jenis, manalah tau cucu mak nak kawen nanti, boleh lah guna”

Aku: *gulp* – ah sudah.. *bebuat sibuk belek digicam*

Mak Lang: “ha’ah, bila lagi Along? Cuba kau tengok bapak sedara ngan mak sedara kau nih, semua dah dua kali kawen.. kau tak lepas-lepas jugak”

Aku: *buat pekak sambil snap pics*


Hm, kelakar pun ada. Btul cakap Mak Lang aku tu. Memang semua adik bradik ayah aku kawen 2 kali (maksud aku, bercerai then kawen lain lah). Even ayah aku pun kawen 2 kali aper (tp different kes la kan). Lagipun kenduri kahwin utk Pak Usu nih pun, kira yg kali kedua utk dia (even aku pun ‘berpartner’ utk kali kedua - *lol*).. Hm nih la masalahnya bila jadi cucu sulung. Segala-galanya di-point-kan kat aku.

Pakcik Wan: “Along? dengar tak?”

Aku: *senyum*

Nenek: “aku nih bukan aper Wan, sementara mata nih belum tertutup, teringin benor nak nengok cucu aku sanding.. hm.. ntah bila lah..”

Sayu je tengok nenek melangkah keluar bilik pengantin sambil ckp camtu..*sighs*.. Aku tau kenapa semua org galak tanya soalan tu.. mana taknya, adik lelaki aku yg no.2, dah bertunang. Kalau takde aral, tahun depan depa kawen. Adik lelaki aku yg no.3 plak, siap bawak balik gelpren sekampus dia. Adik pompuan aku yg no.4 pun dah kenalkan boypren dia kat pemily.. even adik lelaki aku yg no.5 (yang baru 20 tahun) nih pun dah pandai kenalkan gelpren dia kat nenek..*peh berasap paler aku*.. nasib baik adik-adik yg lain bawah umur lagik. Hm.. obvious kan.. aku sorang je yg tak penah bawak balik seiapa. Mmg terasa sangat lah bila sesumer adik aku bawak balik ‘bakal menantu’ semata-mata nak menolong majlis nih nanti, ..tapi aku?..*hurm*

ah, cut! Esok ada urusan yg lebih penting lagi. Kena bangun pepagi sebab nak siapkan kek pulak. Pastu nak siapkan bunga rampai & sirih junjung (no, of coz lah bukan aku yg gubah sirih junjung tu. Aku tukang petik daun sirih je).. Later ok..

Thursday, December 29, 2005

too fast..too short

I'm in KL today (owh, lupa nk inform bout 3 weeks holidays yg aku amik *secara terpaksa* skrg nih) - start dari hari Isnin aku dah mem-blah-kan diri ke Melaka. Why? Sebab aku dgn tak sengajanya telah meretakkan tulang kaki sendiri masa kat Hilton arituh. Btw, I'm goin back to Melaka again tonite. Balik KL nih pun coz nak settle few things - esp bout the new house & my maxis number (at last, aku dapat balik nombor kesayangan aku nih *yey*)

..to make it short:
  • 1st January ada kenduri kawen kat kampung (hey, bukan aku ok).. my uncle lah.
  • 2nd January plak, ada kenduri bercukur utk my little princes (nina)

Okeh, dats it for now. Maybe aku start keje balik on the 3rd January (biasalah aku, mana leh cuti lelama nih) Kalau terpaksa bertongkat pegi keje pun aku sanggup. My work is all dat matter to me mah.. chiows.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Hepi weekend ppl

Wah, its gonna be a vry long weekend for me. Wont be seing her today, tomorrow, day afta tomorrow.. *hurm*.. wut to do, bz tak hingat. Tp, tak kisah coz memasing mmg giler keje - *luvs diz way*.. only Monday baru jumpa (err, Dear, confirm ke lunchie dgn Lealaurielle & d`gang diz Monday? Lemme know ya)

Will be organizing an event at Sugar Club diz evening.. *yeah*.. Another happening event for end of diz year. Tonite, we’ll have dinner then.. ber-salsa all nite long-lah kita. I’m not dat gud at dancing.. but simple waltz, boleh lah (later I upload d pics eh, itupun kalau ada masa nak snap gambar) Plan nak keluar awal dari opis sekejap lagi.. maybe pegi Md Vlly - doin d hair-do (rimas rambut dh panjang) then dari Md Vlly, boleh straight ke sana. Jimat masa rite?

aha, theres one funny story bout yesterday. Wuz quite bz dgn diz salsa project, ntah camne masa tengah duk buat final listing, kak Ain inform ada guest tunggu aku kat luar. Ingatkan orang dari Hilton / Exco. Rupanya dat CinDian guy (Chinese+Indian) dari opis sebelah. Masa aku nampak je muka dia, terkejut jugak - apa mimpi dia kan. Agaknya, dia tgk muka aku blur, terus dia tunjuk jam kat tangan dia (pukul 1.00), then dia cakap.. “remember yesterday? Jom lunch”… and I wuz like.. “wut?!!”… Pastu baru aku teringat tengahari semlm masa kat depan lif, aku ada terserempak dgn dat guy. I wuz trying to be polite ekceli, so aku tanya lah.. “dah lunch?”… then dia jawab.. “I’m waiting for you”… Knowing dat it wuz a joke, aku gelak arr. Dlm gegelak tu, aku cakap.. “tomorrow la”… Seriyes shit it wuz a joke! Tak sangka dia dtg jugak..*tepuk dahi*.. Cakap tanak kang, mcm tak patut la pulak. Lagipun opis kami berjiran..*blurred*.. Aku suruh dia tunggu kejap, masuk bilik, tarik nafas pepanjang, capai apa-apa yg patut then keluar jumpa dia. Pegi makan + beborak (mostly bout company dia) then aku mintak diri masuk opis awal. Lagipun aku kena rush ke Hilton. Masa nak naik opis, sempat dia ajak keluar minum lagi ptg tu.. *hellOoo*.. Bahaya lah dia nih. Aku tolak bebaik. Masuk je opis lepas tu, aku panggil kak Ain, inform kat dia kalau dat fella dtg cari aku lagi, juz cakap aku takde - keluar ke haper ke (morale: len kali taim bercakap, ayat tu jaga - jgn smp tersilap tafsir)

Ok lah, nak keluar dah nih. Before dat nak ucap thanks to those yg handle gath mlm td. It wuz a pleasure knowing u guys, esp Lea, Volks, Ameer, Neo, 5thE, Bonny, Kie, Apek, Kak Nam & Pak Nam and 2 org yg aD tataw nama.. (thanks to Volks for d cute souvenir). Hepi holiday evrybody. Cuti sampai Isnin kan - meriah lah.

*ho ho ho - merry christmas*

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

a letter for me

aD, i have lived for a long time, responsible for n dependent upon no one, answering to no one n committed to no one except myself. during this period of my life, i considered the world mine for the
taking n truly believed that i was living life to the fullest.


then, u came into the picture, n all of a sudden, i realized that i was deceiving myself. i find that my life is not all that i thought it was. in fact, it is terribly lacking in many things, the foremost being love.

now, through some great fortune, i have found that love and along with it, the one person who can make my life truly complete. u are that person, and i have somehow fallen in love with u.

to be honest, i never thought i would ever utter those words, but now, they come forth effortlessly n with great sincerity. i'll be forever be grateful to u for showing me just how shallow my life was. at last, i have a chance to give it depth n purpose.

i remain totally urs in thought n spirit.

Thank you so much for d letter.. Im sory, I dont have any in return.. kinda lost my words.. But I really need to tell you diz, Im glad having you by my side..

Friday, December 16, 2005

Tears

Received diz one at 1.40 pm..

aD, never thot tht i would cry whn i saw the plane. its ur choice, thrs nothng i can do or say. juz hope tht u take care n hv a great life ahead..
Sedih sgt. Try to call her, but tak dapat. Its 1.40 pm.. patutlah. Dia dh naik flight.. Yep, our flight to Penang depart at 1.40 pm.

...so, I cried.

Now wut shud I do? Wut am I doing here?.. *God, help me*

On Leave


As planned before, I'll be on leave start from today till next Monday. Juz wanna jot down few things for few ppl yg secara langsung atau tak, terbabit dlm hidup aku.. here it goes:

To Dia - Diz wud be my last note for u. Received ur sms last nite. – sory didn’t reply any. Anyways, apologize accepted. Think theres one more person u shud seek for hers also. Wutever pun afta diz, kalau nak write sumthing about me, jgn babitkan org lain.

To You – I cudnt make it to Penang today. Sory ‘bout the air tickets - wut a waste. Keep the other one for me, in case I might change my mind.. *y’know wut, I miss d crazy thing we used to do.. miss the old you*..

To Sumone – Before diz I think, its better TO KNOW ALL.. but come to diz point, I’d rather pretend like I do not know anything.. and appreciating all dat I have around me.. and stop questioning. Have a nice day – cheers!

Lets time decide everything..

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Thanks

Received diz one via sms from a friend juz now:


"ad dah burukkan nama hata dlm c99 dan dlm blog dia. nama hata dlm c99 dah kena banned so hata x boleh nak jelaskan blk kat kwn2 semua. harap pertimbangkan apa yg ad katakan. ad skung dgn nasik. dia cuba mengaburi mata kwn2 dgn menyatakan nasik kawan baik dia"
Guess ramai lg yg dpt msg nih rite? Wuts d point hantar nih pd semua org?.. Hmm, malas nak defend diri sendiri. Ada mata, baca lah.. Ada telinga, dengar.. selebihnya, terpulang..

Satu part je yg rasanya aku perlu bersuara - tentang Nasik. Jgn lah buruk kan nama Nasik. Its a fact, kami berkawan. Salah ke?.. bukannya ada apa-apa yg exclusive. Dan kalau betul aku ada sumthing dgn dia or sesiapa pun, why bother? I got nobody.. dont chase 'em away from me, pls.

...wonder wut else lepas ni.. *sighs*

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Enuf.

Enuf with all diz nonsense!

To Dia - Apa masalahnya sekarang nih? U've been calling me for like more than 30 times a day, sms me non-stop.. and now u're saying I'm the one yg disturb u? Get a life, will you! Dont get me start with wut u've done to me.. dan jgn buat sy hilang sabar dan rasa hormat pada awk.

To You - I dont think I can go on with diz anymore plus I dont need ur empathize.

To Both of you - Stop fowarding all those sms yg korang bagi pada each other to me.. Wuts wrong with u guys? Apa ingat aD ni tukang ambil minutes / tukang simpan record sms korang?... penat ok, nak clear kan inbox.. Stop it!

I'm outta here!

Yesterday


In d office yesterday.. hm, byk mender jadi lately.. feel like writing it all in here.. but, later maybe, end of d day? sOo bz lah skrg ni

Monday, December 12, 2005

me.. alone..


*Me at Mid Valley last nite - trying those velvet. Thot wanna write sumthing bout it.. tapi nantilah.. NOo, its not dat I'm in a rush or got no time to write.. it juz dat, I got pissed!*

Friday, December 09, 2005

Smses

Normally I didn’t reply sms from stranger. Tp, semlm, yep I did. Why? Maybe sbb I’m pissed with sumone kut.. *lol*.. Ntah la, I don’t like to live in the world of uncertainties. Boleh penin sey. Hm, ada org suruh aku fight for the things yg aku nak dlm hidup ni. Fight? na’ah dunt think so. Kalau nak suruh aku fight for work.. anytime. Tayah suruh pun mmg aku buat. Tapi, fight for love.. no, wont do it. Bagi aku, kalau ada.. ada lah.. kalau tak.. takde lah, boleh?

Anyway, here goes my sms chat with a stranger:

Stranger: Hi there. Mornin. My name is Billy. Wud like to know u <--- tergelak dibuatnya. Billy.. yea rite

Me: Mornin Billy. I’m Elizabeth. 2nd year student fr Yale *lol*.. Whos diz? <--- sesama tipuk *lol*
Stranger: Hi Elizabeth. I saw u at Stevens. Got ur num. fr a friend of mine. So hows Yale? <--- ulps skali dia kenal aku plak.. *giggles*

(a couple hours afta dat.. )

Stranger: Are u working rite now? U might be bz then
Me: Sory late reply. Tgh cuci pinggan – yknow lah its my part time job to support my study. Btw, nuthin much in Yale. Cuaca mcm kat Yala – Thai :-) not working ke 2day? <--- ekceli tataw nk tulih apa dah

Stranger: Still study? Not aware. Hm, where are u working? Im working at nite - Bartender. Btw, Beth, whats ur real name? <--- wah..wah..bartender katanya..
Me: Well stranger.. u asked 2 much aredy. Tell me sumthing true bout u
Stanger: Wut u wanna know? Work in Cyberjaya.. 27.. and the name is Billy <--- oh c'mon, Billy again? nama btul ke?.. err.. is there any bar at Cyberjaya?.. *wonder*


…bla bla bla…

Funny. Received quite a few jugak sumthing like diz lately. Choose to put diz one here coz its the only one I’ve replied. Mcm tak percaya aku boleh berbalas sms dgn sumone yg aku tak pernah kenal…
*aiyo wut happened?*

Anyway, dunno lah if diz fella read diz blog but juz wana let her know: u makes my day. Thanks.





Thursday, December 08, 2005

Urm..

MaNn.. the GSC booking line wuz engaged all the time! I’m dying to watch Narnia tonite! oh please laa.. hope its still available.. *crossing fingers*

***************


Yesterday wuz awesome! Arrived kat Renaissance awal sejam. Sampai je sana terus hujan lebat.. *phew*.. nasib baik tak stuck dlm jam. Sementara nak tunggu banquet ppl arrange meeting room, aku lepak kat lobby dgn Zu. Order sum coffee with blueberry pastry. Lapar sey.. dari pagi tak sentuh apa-apa. Lepas habis makan & check email, baru turun ke LG. The meeting was held at Arcade 6 till 7.00 pm.

Sementara nak tunggu another meeting, aku dinner sengsorang kat Vogue café dlm hotel tu. Aku pilih utk duduk menghadap kaunter concierge. Ingatkan nak cuci mata tgk org keluar masuk sambil layan blues. Tp, silap la pulak.. tak sangka few of HBS members kenal aku. The most interesting part, siap ingat nama penuh aku lagik. They wanted to join the table. So, there you go.. wut a pleasant evening I had with all diz middle age mens talking 'bout nothing but business.. *urghh*..

Almost 10.00 pm baru settle semuanya. Ekceli lepas habis AGM, dpt call dari a friend of mine. Promise to meet her at KL Sentral around 8.00 pm. Tp, disebabkan hujan plus meeting yg habis lewat, terpaksa kansel (maaf ek?). Masa nak keluar hotel, got a call from dia. She wanted to see me – discuss bout sumthing. Told her I’m rushing to Shah Alam. Lagipun kat depan Saloma Bistro tu jammed giler. Since dia insisted.. dan dia ada kat area City Square, aku ok kan je. Yelah, dah dekat kan.

As usual, we didn’t talk much. Dia tak sihat, tp still nak hantar aku ke Shah Alam. Pegi supper jap then dia balik KL. Dat nite aku habiskan masa depan notebook sampai tgh malam.. tataw knp tak boleh tidur. Pukul 3.00 pagi dh terjaga.. rasanya, selang sejam aku terjaga kut.. *sighs*

Lambat pegi keje pagi nih. Saje melambatkan diri. Pukul 9.10 pagi, aku still kat Shah Alam lagi – doing wut I do best: make up.. *lol*.. Sampai opis kul 11 lebih… and now wut? I’m starving.. ok lah, nak kosentret on makan.. daa..

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Bila ke-bz-an melanda

Rushing.. juz nk jot down few notes for my future reference.. *wink*.. Btw, i am now blogging dari Dsara Hts. Will be leaving for Renaissance jap lagi. Ok, to make it short:
  • 1st of all, juz nak apologize kat cC (coz tak dpt join the birthday party) & Bob (for not attending ur open house arituh).. truly sory - got sumthing else yg really need my attention on dat day.
  • I'm on leave on Monday.. *terrible day*.. anyways, semua proses packing bebarang dlm rumah tu dh selesai, cuma part nak mengangkut je yg tinggal.. taper, dat one later.. once dah dpt rumah nnt lah. Hopefully end of diz year semua selesai.
  • Dah dua hari (since selasa), aku berulang alik dari Shah Alam ke KL. Staying there alone (for a while). Baby-sit 2 ekor rabbit yg comel. Ekceli they belong to As. She wanted me to take care of 'em. As wont be around coz dia cuti semester break.
  • Semalam, not bad jugak lah, bangun lewat. Nasib baik depan rumah As nih senang nk dapat cab - so chartered sampai KL. Been busy all day long.. *luv it*.. Pukul 7.00 pm baru keluar opis. Call cab, tapi satu pun takde. Terpaksa guna altenatif lain - naik komuter kat KL Sentral. Nasib baik ada hamba-Allah yg sanggup bagi explanation cecara nak balik Shah Alam guna komuter.. *lucky me*.. Sampai je KL Sentral, perut dah start berbunyi. Lupa plak sepanjang hari aku tak makan. Singgah Mc'D - beli chicken foldover & sebotol livita.. *really need dat*.. and guess wut? Kena berdiri dlm komuter all the way to Shah Alam - cam sardin.. *dem*.. Aku blasah makan sambil berdiri.. lantak lah org nk pandang ke haper. Think aku patut berbangga dgn diri sendiri sbb mampu menghabiskan semua vege dlm chic-foldover tu. Selalunya, aku akan suruh sesiapa buangkan sayur tu dulu seblm mkn. Tp, kali nih, no more ngengader.. nak tanak kena makan jugak. Sampai kat station Pdg Jawa, kawasan tu dah gelap. Tak ada org kecuali a group of bums.. kinda scary jugak lah. Dan nasib baik jugak aku sempat amik no. tipun pacik cab yg hantar aku pegi keje pagi tadi. Called dia. Kebetulan dia stay area tu jugak. So, he sent me to section 7 - ahamdullilah. Nasib baik lah aku nih jenis peramah - rajin berborak dgn org tetua nih. Kalau tak, ntah lepas ke tak aku balik mlm tadi. Coz kawasan tu mmg langsung takde cab / bas!
  • Paginih, mmg sesuwatuh btul.. its bout me & my skirt.. *lol*.. tayah cerita la ek, lagi pun tak sempat dah nih - co. driver dah tunggu kat bawah.

Okeh lah, gtg.. will be in Renaissance till 8.00 pm - ada 2 meeting nk kena attend dlm hari nih. Maybe lepas dinner baru balik Shah Alam... Well everybody, lets get busy!




Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Luv diz one

Michael Learn To Rock - Take Me To Your Heart

Originally written & sang by Jacky Chueng

Hiding from the rain and snow
Trying to forget but I won't let go
Looking at a crowded street
Listening to my own heart beat


So many people all around the world
Tell me where do I find someone like you girl

Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand before I'm old
Show me what love is - haven't got a clue
Show me that wonders can be true

They say nothing lasts forever
We're only here today
Love is now or never
Bring me far away

Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand and hold me
Show me what love is - be my guiding star
It's easy take me to your heart

Standing on a mountain high
Looking at the moon through a clear blue sky
I should go and see some friends
But they don't really comprehend

Don't need too much talking without saying anything
All I need is someone who makes me wanna sing


p/s: sesiapa yg ada mp3 ni, kindly fwd it to my email, pls.. ;)

Friday, December 02, 2005

Away

Um.. will be away for two (2) weeks, boleh?.. *wutever*

*****

Editor's note: eleh.. poyo ah hang nih aD. Buleh caya ke tanak apdet sampai 2 minggu? Blah ah

Me: hey, i'm holding to my words lah.. tp since ada org tu kalah bet, nak wat acamner kan? consider i'm back in d game je lah.. err, tul tak D?

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Again..

Dats it. Malam nih tahap kesabaran aku tercabar lagi. Correct me if I’m wrong, I don’t think its necessary esp for those yg baru separate tu ‘spend time’ together. Yelah, e.g, duduk beborak ke, pegi lunch sesama ke or etc. Tell me, kenapa? untuk apa? Y’know wut, I juz don’t get it. Dunno la kalau mender nih normal sbb aku sendiri pun tak penah ada experience dgn ex nih, since diz is my first time. Wait, ok its not the first time aku broke off dgn sumone. First my ex-bf. Tp, so far dia tak penah lah cakap nak spend time together ke haper.

Ok, in second thought, maybe its normal to meet ur ex and have a lil chat or share ur problems ke haper (since she/he penah rapat dgn kita dulu). Tapi, bukan ke proses nak berbaik sebagai kawan tu ambik masa? C’mon la, I’m still hurt ok. Of coz la dia tak rasa apa yg aku rasa sebelum nih. Its not 'him' yg kena dumped pun.. *duh*

Dan jgn lah ingat bila aku dah start tersenyum balik tu, aku dah cukup kuat utk terima semua nih.. yes, I can forgive but yet not to forget. Thanks to all of my friends yg byk bagi support dan sentiasa ada sebelah aku bila aku bebtul perlukan diaorg. They helped me a lot and they’re all I have now. So, jangan lah salahkan aku kalau aku lebih pentingkan kawan dari dia.

…ok enuff, cut!..

Dah lama tak ckp pasal keje kan? Kalau dulu, bila setiap entry aku berkait ttg keje, akan ada komplen dari ‘sumbody’ yg akan cakap aku nih giler keje. Things changed – not anymore. Sekarang, aku nak giler keje ke.. haper ke, ikut sukati aku lah.

Well, nuthin much bout work pun. AGM on 7th then, relax. Tp, utk seminggu dua nih, masak jugak lah. End of Dec, Loo resign. Sementara nak recruit accountant baru, aku lah yg jadi mangsa. Tak pepasal kena belajar UBS. Apa pun tak kisahlah, utk sementara je. At least, sampai satu tahap nnt, I’m capable of doing a-lot-of-thing.. okeh jugak tu.. *relax aD, sabau*

Siang tadi, rite afta lunch, aku dah inform TS yg aku nak amik leave on 16 (friday) to 19 (monday) Dec – Am goin for holiday in Kedah & Penang (kut?). Guess diz wud be my first trip for cuti-cuti Me’sia yg aku plan arituh.. *great isn’t it?*… Why Kedah again? Well, maybe sbb ada unfinished business kat sana – let say, I’m searching for sumone from the past.. *lol*… Wuts with Penang then? Maybe bcoz of the beaches. The best part is, I’m not goin alone.. *grin*

Okeh lah, nak makan jap, pastu nak tido. Lupa pulak yg aku lum dinner lagi. Apa ek nak dimakan? Nak masak, dah tengah malam.. lgpun, bukannya ada apa dlm fridge. Semua dah clear (nak pindah punya pasal).. hmm, guess I’ll have a bttl of livita & choc bar je lah.. bujang katakan.. *smiles big*… Okehlah nak soru dulu, then.. zZzz

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Unexpected

Lambat hari ni (again?).. Tp kali ni tak disengajakan. Mlm tadi, for the first time dlm tempoh sebulan, dia tidur kat rumah. We didn’t talk much. Maybe sbb sama² tahu, everytime we tried to start a conversation, it’ll turn to sumthing bad or even worst – gaduh tak sudah. The gud thing is, shes there to help me pack our stuff. I really need dat. Guess, incident dkt steben aritu helps a lot. I’m pretty much stronger now.. coz I know, im standing in the rite path (wut a relief)

Masa tengah mandi pagi tadi, owner rumah tu dtg. Unexpected kan?. Dalam keadaan rambut yg bersyampoo, aku keluar juga. Dia? tidur kut – bilik berkunci.. *tak bother pun*.. Borak² sekejap je. Aku yg nak pindah, tuan rumah tu lak sedih.. *lol*.. Wife dia nmpk berminat dgn pepokok bunga yg aku tanam depan rumah. Taim diaorg nak balik, aku offer akak tu amik je memana pokok bunga yg dia berkenan. Then, masa nak keluar rumah tadi, aku tengok hampir semua pasu bunga kat depan rumah dah takde.. juz tinggal satu pasu besar pokok yg menjalar je.. ish ish, abis sumer dia amik? Tergelak jugak lah dibuatnya.. tp bila difikirkan balik, aku sedih sebenarnya. Aku yg tanam pepokok tu. Dari bertunas, sampailah besar. Hehari aku duk belai, siram, baja, etc. Bukan amik masa sehari dua ok.. bertahun tu.. *sob sob*.. Tapi taperlah, at least aku tau pepokok tu dapat tuan yg baik cam aku jugak.. *perasan*

Hmm, got a werk to do lah.. later.




Thursday, November 24, 2005

Pretending

A sweet conversation thru d phone juz now:

Aku: Hello.. Hi.. *smiles*
Teddy: Hi.. hello..
Aku: Bz?
Teddy: Um, no. Not exactly.. Who’s diz?.. *wondering*
Aku: Its me, aD.. *smiles big*
Teddy: Oh, hi aD.. u sounds soOo cheerful!..
Aku: Well, I made it up.. *laughs out loud*

….. bla bla bla….

Pelik kan? Dats d fact.. kadang² mood kita memainkan peranan dlm perbualan or perjumpaan etc, etc.

Well its works. Even I wuz like pretending and hide all d feelings I have inside. Apa pun, frankly lah kan, aku suka tgk org berbual dgn aku tu hepi.. ;)

Bz


5.05 am, aku dah bangun. A bit tense jugak.. esp bila teringat apa yg jadi mlm td. Masa nak keluar rumah, aku cuba sebaik mungkin utk put aside memender yg memeningkan nih. Tarik nafas panjang², senyum semanis mungkin then langkah pegi keje dgn konpiden. Terserempak dgn dua tiga org jiran sebelah rumah. Biasanya memasing mmg tak pernah berckp. Tp hari nih, rajin pula memakcik nih bersembang dgn aku. Is it becoz of d smile? *I shud do dat more often then* – Nice.

6.45 pagi – Am aready at SLGCC. Ada friendly golf tournament dgn South Wales Univ Alumni. Lepas settle everything and hv a few words dgn golf mgr, aku gerak balik. Almost 11.00 am baru sampai opis.

Almost lunch hour.. gotta go. Ada invitation for Majlis Mesra Aidilfitri TNB at Ampang. Lets go!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

@#%$

Da*n!! Aku mmg tak patut jumpa dia.

For God sake, naper lah ko bodoh sangat aD!?

Ingatkan dia betul² nak berdamai.. as 'he' said pagi tadi, there will be no more fight. Katanya lagi, dia mengaku kesilapan dia dan dia juga dah boleh terima kenyataan yang kami kini sekadar kawan – tak lebih.

Tapi wuts d heck is 'hes' doing, juz now?!!! Selongkar beg aku, buka notebook and baca blog aku. Lepas tu tak pasal² lepaskan geram dekat aku. MaNn!! Dah dua kali dia buat mcm ni.

Hey, mana hak privacy aku?! C’mon lah, face d fact dat we’re thru!


***********

Its 10.30 pm. Trying so hard making myself comfortable in front of d tv - but it didnt seem to work pun. Capai hp, tried to call sumone dat I think I can count on... well, theres no answer - so sad *sighs*

A lil advise for myself : Relax aD, get use to it. Jgn terlalu bergantung pd org lain. Fix ur own probs. Be brave.. stop thinking & do something for ur life. Focus!!

*sighs*

Shud I laugh at myself?.. haha.. poor me. Felt like
a total jerk now.. am I? oh yess.. dats wut u are - pathetic'

he' called diz morning. 'he' wanted to see me.. and discuss bout few stuff. Aku refused mulanya. Tapi bila tolak campur darab bahagi sumer, aku ok kan je. Dats it, we promised to meet up diz evening. Harap segalanya berjalan dgn baik - berpisah cara baik - no more gaduh.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Been listening to diz song

Eamon – Fuck It

See, I dont know why I liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, I loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, I wanna let u know how I feel

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

You thought, you could
Keep this shit from me, yeah
Ya burnt bitch, I heard the story
Ya played me, ya even gave her head
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another act, look elsewhere
Cuz ya done with me

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Ya questioned, did I care
You could ask anyone, I even said Ya were my great one
Now its, over, but I do admit I'm sad
It hurts real bad, I cant sweat that, cuz I loved a hoe

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Dull

Surprise.. balik pagi ni, rumah aku dlm keadaan bersepah giler. Few things takde - tak bother pun, bukan barang aku. She took few of her stuff (dat wuz ok), BUT naper nak sepahkan bebarang aku kan? Habis semua baju dlm lemari dicampak keluar. Even paperwork aku pun berterabur sana sini *sighs*

***************


Checked hp, ada 29 miscalls dari dia. sms pula tak terkira banyaknya. Cuma diz time, msg dia tak berbaur marah lagi.. ada bunyi mcm sedih sikit.. cemburu.. depressed. Aku tumpang sedih, aku faham apa yg dia rasa, malah aku lebih lagi.. tapi apa boleh aku buat..

Terima dia kembali? Yes, I can.. but as a friend. I bet we can be a very gud friend thou. Other than dat, lets time decide..

Monday, November 21, 2005

Jemputan

Received personal invitation fr one of d co. nih for open hse (opis?) raya gituh. Tataw lg sama ada nk pergi atau tak. Kalau aku join, for sure aku sorang je pompuan dari sini. Kalau tak pergi kang.. nampak sangat lah ketidakhadiran aku nanti.. ye lah, obvious sgt.. hm, camno?


p/s: Faiez, did u get d same invitation for diz 24th? Lemme know if you do ok. Desperately nak cari member teman nih *lol*