Monday, May 11, 2015

Route 68 Challenge

DNS for this 68km running event

Kalau nak luahkan rasa kecewa sebab tak dapat lari untuk event ni, aku rasa takda siapa pun faham kat sini.

Frustrated 

I was so ready for this one. Walaupun tengah pregnant, aku tahu aku boleh buat. I knew my body well.

Aku jaga makan, jaga fitness, jaga mental.

Tapi a day before event, I got so stressed about something. Sampai bladder sakit balik.

Aku tataw la kenapa time pregnant ni, asal stress ja bladder mesti sakit. Bukan sakit sekejap2. Lama ok. The next day pun belum tentu hilang.

Kesian my running partner -Syah. It was his first ultra-marathon. And we're suppose to run together. Dia bersusah payah carikan semua mandatory kit untuk aku. Malah siap belikan aku running tee yang sama dengan dia semata untuk event ni..............

But I let him down. Feel terrible.

Heard that he finished the race within cut off time. Alhamdullilah. Tapi still dont have the gut to call him and congratulate. I feel bad :(

Try pujuk diri sendiri. Maybe ada hikmah tak dapat lari. Maybe effect baby. Maybe aku DNF halfway. Maybe itu, maybe ini.

But still tak boleh lari dari rasa guilty.

Nak nangis............

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