KENGKAWAN

Friday, March 10, 2006

yawn~

Its Friday.. and im in dilemma ~ nak balik kampung or nak panjat gunung?.. *sighed*.. dari mlm tadi duk pikir.. still tak decide yg mana.. *hurm*.. Bosan ah. Lets leave it till end of the day.. we’ll see how.

Termasuk hari nih, dah 3 hari berturut aku bangun lewat.. lutut rasa mcm sakit sikit.. pelik juga, kenapa ek? Bila aku tanya Syam ttg nih, dia tanya aku balik: are u pushing urself aD?’.. *hurm*.. terdiam sekejap.. ‘am i?’..

The weird thing is: I don’t know – I don’t even hv the answer. Pelik kan? Its true mah.. Why?.. Maybe coz I choose not to think abt it kut – I kinda person yg lebih bersikap.. “let it be.. let it be”.. Kinda person yg takkan fight for sumthing yg tak pasti.. (err paham ke?)..

Ok, contoh lah.. let say, I have a partner.. and one day, ntah camner, ada probs dgn dia.. then afta the hassles and all dat, both of us mcm tak jumpa jalan penyelesaian.. one day, she came to me and say..

The Partner : aD, did u realize dat I’m walking away from u?
Aku : *sighs*.. yeah I know..

----silent----


Dats it.. dats me. Its not dat I don’t want to do anything to fix it.. e.g., to stop her or wuteva lah.. its juz dat.. aku tanak sesak kan kepala nih.. esp bila u got the whole world in ur head.. sumore additional to ur heart? - don’t think so… err… kejap, mender yg aku mengarut nih? Wuts the point?..*duh*

Cut the crap.

Feel like updating the blog.. but.. slalu lah camnih - me, got work to do.. tengok lah pepetang karang (kalau sempat).. sementara tu, lets layan diz song - best.


You think you own whatever land you land on
The earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But i know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew.. you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corned moon
Or asked the grinning bob cat why he grins
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains
Can you paint with all the colours of the wind

Come run the hiding pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sun sweet berries of the earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once never wonder what they are worth
The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high does the sycormore grow
If you cut it down then you'll never know
And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corned moon
You can own the earth until all you'll own is earth
Until you can paint with all the colours of the wind


p/s: to my dearest friend, Shake @ Coolmalay.. i got sumthing for ya.. wait eyy.


12 comments:

BdkLeoVirgo said...

aD..just read ur posting yesterday.. i dont know how u manage to pull urself together n still be cheerful day after day.. perhaps u kept things deep inside u eh.. that's not good dear.. not much i can advice here cause i tak pernah lalui problem macam tu.. i'm sure it is hard for you esp to gain back their trust and love.. but i hope their strong love to you and your love to them will get things back together..
i'm nt pissed at ur bro.. he's confuse and he is trying to find answer to everything,, how can u, his trusted sister be someone opposite from what he thought.. give him some time but never cut the relationship.. never give up in love, esp family love..
but i'm pissed with ur ex.. i really do..

FDB said...

Upon what i've gone thru b4, I shud b stronger than everybody else..but somehow.. I got weaker n so lonely... Hope God will give me strength..

amizgig said...

bdkleovirgo:
*smiles*.. its life - i hv to be strong, i guess.. or pretend to be, at least ..*how i wished things will be back to normal again*.. but dont wury, i'll alwiz find a way to make myself 'ok' everyday.. thanks Am..*hugs*

FDB:
agreed. my loneliness is killing me (dats y aD prefer join outdoors xtvt - so dat i'll make myself tired till i dont hv time to think abt anything else)

yatt said...

aD, dicadangkan, balik kg jek.. me too.. nak kene decide.. balik kg biler.. esok ker, lusa ker..?

alamak!! ada tornament lah sabtu & ahad.. :o(

gal, just hoping that u will hv a very nice w'end.. me, blk kg ar kot.. kot...

Anonymous said...

u knw wat..balek rumah jela kot.
maybe u ble slow talk ngn ur bros n sis...perhaps they cn accept u as who u truly are. kan ad? i know its hard. *dh tau susa lagi nk suh ko kan?* kah kah kah..argh..-sidian

Anonymous said...

are u sure u'r that type of person? "let it be, let it be"? sumtimes we only write things that we want without giving a fair judgement to the other party.

are u trying to say that u never ask anything/for more from ur partner? there must be a reason why she walked away. and maybe she also have the same thinking like yours, tanak sesak kan kepala.

u try to put people in your shoe, but u nvr try to put URSELF in her shoe..

try to think abt it ok.. ;)
_)intel(_

cikbiskut said...

- sorry -

Rozek said...

hai..lama tak dgr cite.. :)

amizgig said...

yatt:
hows the tournament? aD tak blk kg pun.. spent my weekend at Nuang (yep, again)..*smiles*

dian:
slow talk?.. ai.. nih yg payah.. will try dat.. thanks dian =)

intel:
perhaps, u're rite.

biskut:
um? wut is dat for?

rozek:
yep.. hang pun, awat tak upload pic baru? =)

cikbiskut said...

ad:
for a lot of reasons that can't be said...

cikbiskut said...

i email u abt ledang, do update me k... :)

amizgig said...

biskut:
sure, will let u know =)

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