KENGKAWAN

Thursday, October 02, 2014

Google+

Berfikir.

My phone connect directly dengan google+. So aku takkan hilang setiap gambar yang aku amik guna phone.

Yang buat aku curious, setiap gambar yang aku amik tu, orang lain boleh view atau just aku je? Kadang2 Google+ ada hantar notification untuk share photo album, video yang aku record, gambar kolaj, etc. Tapi aku ignore ja. Honestly, aku tak pernah share publicly semua gambar yang auto-store kat sini. Kecuali yang aku publish kat blog.

Tapi bila tengok total view kat Google+ sampai banyak camni, what does it mean eh? Semua orang boleh view ke? Like really?? 3.6 mil views?? What's so interesting?

Scary ok. Dengan streetview whatnot sekarang ni, semua orang boleh cari anything about u. Gosh.

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

October please be nice

Takda event minggu ni. Raya kan.

My SIL nak buat kenduri berkhatan untuk anak2 dia. Dia tanya sama ada aku nak khatankan Ariff & Amarr sekali.

Seriously, aku tak ready nak bagi reaksi atau jawapan yang macam mana?

If aku cakap, aku tak ready, ok ke? Banyak benda aku fikir..

Dah sampai masa ke?
Was it going to be painful?
Can my kids bear it?
Can they just do the khatan kat hospital pakar?
Which specialist is the best?
.
.
.
Can this wait at least until they're at least 7 years old?

Obviously, yang tak ready kat sini adalah aku. The kids I'm not sure.

Haih.

********************************

Next week ada full marathon back to back. Lari 84km dalam masa 12 jam.

Condition badan adalah sangat teruk. Still not fully recover demam.

Dan paling teruk, body weight turun 37kg hari ni. If berat badan turun lagi, seems like kena letgo salah satu marathon.

Hopefully berat naik sikit dalam tempoh beberapa hari  ni. I really want to run both events.

Betul cakap ayah, aku makin kurus.

Member office pun ada cakap, badan aku takde contain fat langsung (which I doubted it.. gila takde?).

Everything on my body shrunk. Including my breasts.. haha. Having small breasts is great. Small and humble bak kata Shakira. Small and compact, bak kata my friend pulak. Ok, that one funny. Small and compact.. what does it mean? Aku mampu terbayang kereta compact. Tak boleh nak jive.. wahahaha.

Flat tummy is perfect. Tapi dada flat is awful.. wahaha.. Not that I care much about it.

Anyway start esok, kena makan banyak. Like reallyyyyy banyak. Carboload hari2.

I want to run that 84km!

Cold

Everytime when I try to get on my feet, there's always something hard hit me from the back and make me fall on my knees.. again.

🎶🎵🎶
Rimbun dan redup kasihMu
Kau tempat ku berpayung
Di manakah lagi dapat ku rebahkan
Rasa gundah ini

Nun Kau teguh di sana
Pengasih dan penyayang
Pun ku masih terleka
Meneguk ihsanMu
Walau ku sedari
🎶🎵🎶

The weather is hot tonight. But why I feel so cold inside.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Family time

Aktiviti wajib bila balik Melaka: Lepak reramai kat tepi laut dengan adik beradik, adik2 tiri, ipar duai, anak2 buah.

Biar gambar bercerita.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Eco Run UTeM

Last minit plan.

Forced Mamoru to run this one. Dia tanak. But, lantak. Bising dia kena lari dalam terpaksa. 

Sorry B.. last one ok.

Dapat 5th placing. Merasa naik podium. Okay lah. Cuma timing kedarat. Demam. Tak cukup rest. Serabut.


Sunday, September 28, 2014

Global CSR Day

Annual charity event. 

Sedih tengok budak2 ni. Miskin, ketinggalan, serba serbi kekurangan.

Dalam banyak2 kanak miskin yang aku jumpa Sabtu aritu, aku berkenan kat sorang student tahun 2 ni. Nama dia Anis. Anak ke-3. Sangat petah bercakap. Cita2 nak jadi doktor. Kakak dia yang sulung 11 tahun tapi OKU. Kakak yang kedua darjah 4. Ayah kandung dia, Cina muallaf, hilang tak tahu kemana. Mak dia kerja kedai ja, dah kahwin lain dengan orang Indon  yang buat kerja baiki rumah orang. Dengan ayah tiri dia ada 2 orang adik2 tiri.

Aku nampak semangat yang tinggi dalam diri Anis. Remind me so much about myself. InsyaAllah sayang, masa depan cerah menanti mu. Sabar ya. 


Dengan student tahun 1. Kalau lah aku mampu, semua ni aku nak ambik jadi anak2 angkat...

Dengan student tahun 2

Anis.. my daughter

Anis and her friend

Tahun 2

The volunteers

Lunchie

Waiting turn to play games

Chillin
Visit to their home.. sangat sedih. Rumah kotak tak ada bilik :(


Note: Eksiden masa otw balik dari CSR ni. Bumper belakang kereta kemek. Langgar tembok. Cuai. Takper. Sabar.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Ayah


I didn't remember when is the last time my dad suapkan I makan. Being in family with 10 siblings u didn't get to manja2 so much. Esp when you're the eldest and your dad single single parent.

But just now, my dad suapkan I makan. Twice!

:)

Dad said, I looked skinnier.

:(

Bila..

Bila air mata tak lagi mengalir di pipi.. hanya mampu luruh di dalam hati..

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Stop

Stop being pushy!

Stop it.

I hate it.

I hate u!

Note: Please jauhkan orang2 macam ni dari aku. Please. Please. Please.


CSR

Plan nak balik Melaka weekend ni. Ada run kat sana. Last minit register.

Tapi Sabtu ni ada Global CSR Day (corporate social responsibility) kat Gombak. Buddy system dengan student sekolah rendah yang tak berkemampuan.

Couldn't afford to miss this one.

Teringat cerita Angah Haslina tentang macam mana dia bantu bayarkan yuran sekolah untuk 2 student miskin tiap2 tahun sampai budak tu habis sekolah rendah. Bantuan dalam diam. Dia tak bagi cikgu expose identiti dia pada student & parents student tu. One way of buat kebaikan tanpa perlu bangga diri.

Wish I could find a student yang betul2 in need dan ikut jejak Angah. InsyaAllah.

So, balik Melaka tengahari Sabtu je lah. Lagipun, run hari Ahad. Takde hal. Cuma tahan telinga je lah bila ayah bebel2 balik sekejap sangat.. ampunnn ayahanda!

Prepare goody bag for those kids

Musim hujan

Kadang2 kita plan lain. Jadi lain.

Macam hari ni.

Haih.

Tak tau nak marah, sedih or nak gelakkan diri sendiri.

Malas nak fikir.

As long as all intentions is good. Tak semakkan kepala, then its ok kot.

Btw, managed to run petang semalam. 1 loop as ussual. Ngam2 azan maghrib berkumandang bila sampai kat entrance guardhouse. Dan tak sampai beberapa minit lepas tu hujan lebat. I was lucky :)

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Enough, aD

Its time to stop grieving.

Cukup-cukup la aD.

Nobody care. Jangan biar orang perlekeh hati ni.

******************************

Letting go few more running bibs

1. Great Eastern 10km (clash dengan Nuang 42km)
2. Viper Challenge 16km (I'm not interested running with obstacles anymore.)
3. Penang Bridge 42km (Exchange my bib with Mamoru's  HM. He decided to runs his first FM all by himself without pacer. He sounds confident. Thats good. As long as he wants to run. I'm happy. I'm not running HM for PBIM either :)

Others, I registered myself for few other runs too. Cover balik.

******************************

Semalam cuti lari. Sakit perut. PMS.

Petang tadi plan nak layan bukit sebab start lari pun dah dekat pukul 6.40 petang. Lewat sangat. Nak pusing satu loop jalan biasa takut tak sempat sampai rumah sebelum azan maghrib.

Tapi apesal ntah kaki tanak berhenti.  Lari aje lah. Performance kaki best. Breathing je bercelaru. Banyak sangat fikir.

5 km in 25 minutes.  Not bad ey.

Chiquitita (Little One)

This song was released in the year I was born - 1979.

Since I was little,  I always pretend my late mom would sing me this song whenever I feel sad / bad / down. Like a lullaby.

Lucky to those who still have a mother or mother in-law.

If I still have mine, in a moment like this, I would definitely go to her.. and cry my heart out.






"Chiquitita"

Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong
You're enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I'm a shoulder you can cry on
Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on
You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you've broken a feather
I hope we can patch it up together

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving

Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

What I do when I can't sleep

This is it, right aD?

Maybe. I dont know.

U will survive this one too. InsyaAllah.

Cry now.. and be done with it.

Be strong, aD.


Layan aiskrim satu pint.

No, I'm  not stress. I just trying to make me fat.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Keep calm

"Not Returning Back"

.
.
.
.

Good decision....

.
.
.
.

Lets run, aD.

Put a smile on ur face


Will there be no light to shine this path
Will there be no good people than one who take advantage
Will there be no end to this exhausting life
Will dreams remain dreams?

Bila marah ambil wuduk
Bila sedih ambil wuduk
Bila kusut?

When there's no shoulder to cry on, there's always floor to put ur head on.

Cry a river. Built a bridge.  Get over it.

Hati ini milik Tuhan.





Sunday, September 21, 2014

Penat lah

Doesn't feel like running today. Tanak break record free from run this week.

Especially after the hard work mengemas store, drilling,  etc just now.

But somehow, something make me feel really mad.

I hate so much.

So I ran.

It doesn't help make me forget though. But its okay.

At least I feel good about myself.  Running make me feel good.

Only then I choose to ignore and forget, if that is possible.

Lazy week

No training or running at all for the whole week.

Not good aD.

Not good.

Takpe.

Sabar.

For my next and future run, I  want to run solo. No pacer. No running partner.

Been planning do this since April, tapi ntah lah. Nak jaga hati orang sangatt kann..

Nak kena hide semua race yang aku register lepas ni.  Stay low. So nobody get to know or register the same event that I join. By coincidence tak kisah la.

Then update bila event dah habis. Baru boleh lari dengan tenang.

Haih.

I want to run alone.

All alone.

Well.. exception for my Beau, of course. If he wants to run with me.

Talking about my Beau, last night he decided to exchange his bib from half to full marathon for Penang Bridge Int. Marathon. This will be his first FM ever!

I'm proud of u, B.

I'll be very very happy if he want me to be his pacer.. to run with him all the way for 42km!

I'd be very happy.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Mamoru~kun

Me : "Miss u B.. miss having u around.."
Him : "Balik lah Melaka.."

-paused-

Did he really mean that?

Transfer ke Melaka? 

I will submit the request soon. Wish me luck.


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Unwell

Terrible headache.

Shivering like mad.

I hate you!

Fever bug go away!

Like forever.

!!

Reebok 1 Challenge 20km

Lesson learnt: Never join any run with obstacles alone. Unless you're fit enough la kan. Kalau dalam team, should be ok kut.

Running part takda prob. Aku enjoy the route.  Walaupun campur2 road and trail.

Tapi part angkat guni pasir 15kg and lari 100 meter memang tak dapek la kan. Aku just peluk dan berjalan ja sampai habis. Pasir basah pulak tu. Confirm lebih 15 kilo berat dia. Menyumpah dalam hati je lah.

Aku buat semua obstacles kecuali monkey bar. Terlalu tinggi sampai aku lompat pun tak boleh nak reach. Kalau ada yang willing hulur tangan untuk tolong aku capai palang besi tu maybe boleh aku bergayut sampai habis, tapi nama pun "one challenge". Pepandai sendiri la kan.. tsk.

Climb wall pun aku buat sendiri. Atas bantuan sorang lengchai yang suruh aku pijak paha dia. Kalau tak, sampai esok pun belum tentu aku boleh panjat wall 4 meter tu.

Cuma yang buatkan semua jadi mencabar bila sepanjang event, hujan lebat dari mula lari sampai habis.

Scary ok panjat wall dalam hujan lebat. Peserta lelaki pun aku tengok cuak nak memanjat dalam keadaan camtu. Aku yang comel lagi lemah ni apatah lagi kan kan kan. Kalau terlepas tangan, ke hospital la jawabnya.

Obstacles yang lelain, e.g., lompat divider, merangkak bawah jaring/kanvas, rendam kaki dalam ais, bukit, etc takda masalah.

Managed to complete the run in 2 hours 37 mins. Dapat 50th placing. Suprise dengan timing sendiri. Padahal aku lari main2 ja taim tu (ok, ada nada riak disitu).. wahahahaha

Hiking Lata Medang, Kuala Kubu Baru

Trip daypack masa cuti hari Malaysia aritu.

Hiking amik masa almost 2 jam dari Kg Pertak.

Line up just Syah, Arina & me.

First time gi sini. Aci redah je sebenarnya. Tak penah pi pun.. haha

Layan gambar ja lah.

Route sama macam nak pi Bukit Kutu. Tapi sampai simpang last tu kena belok kiri. Hike santai ja. Amik masa dalam sejam setengah jugak lah. 

Trek luas. Kalau nak training trail memang best.

Dua orang ni memang poser. Macam yours truly jugak.

Cross balak tumbang.

Buah pelik kat Lata Medang. Bentuk macam peach/plum. Tapi dalam kosong. Ada biji ja.

Lunch pack memang heaven. Nasi goreng puyuh goreng, kuih bakaq, rojak buah by Arina, etc. Lepas mandi makan, lepas makan mandi pun tak habis2 makanannya.

Muka kelaparan.. ngee

Syah memang antu air. Semua tempat dia berenang

Refreshing katanya

Yours truly yang penakut air.. wahahaha

Tapi akhirnya turun gak mandi lepas kena sound kaw2 dgn syah.. takotttt

Pastu memasing tak ingat dunia kan...

Feefeling sun bathing kekdahnya.

Sayuppp group kat bawah tu mandi sungai. 

Overall tempat ni best la jugak. Tak ramai orang.

Bunga hutan

Buah. Ekceli macam daun. Cantik. Besar guli ja.

Serangga ni dah biasa sangat jumpa. Tapi asal amik gamba ja mesti tak santik. I need a Gopro please.

Daun or  benih pokok? 

Buah hutan

Kesan terbakar 

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